The Puppy Plunge 2013

AP here:
Tonka and I attended the Puppy Plunge this year in Annapolis at Camp Letts. We hung out with Tonka's friend Ollie Lollie Stanford and his humans at the Veterinary Housecall Service booth.

On the Way

I'm here

I hung out with my buddy Ollie

I stopped to see the ladies at the Petsmart booth

 There were lots of booths to roll around and visit and "see" people to get treats from. Since we got there early it wasn't very crowded at the little beach and Tonka got to get his feet wet with the help of his friend Hannah.

My friend Hannah and I got in the water

Ollie was chillin

I took a break with my fan

Ollie took a break with some ice water

There were lots of people and puppies

 Later in the day Caitlin came with Noodle and we hung out a bit.

My friend Noodle showed up with a turtle costume

I love Noodle he is a happy boy

This little guy had big ears

Telia and I had a chat

 As the day wound down Ollie and I were tired and ready to go home.

Ollie was ready to go

AP packed everything up

I was asleep before we left the parking lot

Home and time to unpack

It was a really fun day....

Such a Sensitive Boy...

 

AP here:
After 3 days of being on Piroxicam Tonka was doing so well that I could manage to push aside the doom and gloom that's been sitting in my head since the MRI report. Then of course reality smacked me once again. Tonka woke up Thursday morning and promptly threw up. Now Tonka is a very sensitive boy when it comes to meds but he hardly ever throws up (usually the other end is the problem). The Piroxicam is a very powerful anti-inflammatory and we are trying to protect his stomach with pepcid AC and Prilosec everyday but Thursday that did not seem to be working. His prescribed dose for his weight is 15mg and we started him at 10 to stay on the safe side.

He was still perky and while I was cleaning up took off into the yard to do some excavating.

I was hoping that the tumor had just caused some drainage that had soured his stomach but when I got home that afternoon he had thrown up again. I tried to push the recurring thought of the chemo experience and 25 hours in the ER out of my head. I withheld the medicine that night and Friday started him on a bland diet and broke his feeding into smaller meals including adding one at 2:30am. with the goal of keeping something in his stomach. That seemed to do the trick and he has been fine so far.

Saturday was a BIG day as we had scheduled a play date with all his neighborhood friends including some we had not seen in months. We wheeled all the way to the park and I took the stroller to push him home in.

Up and Ready

Out the Gate

Strolling to the Field

Shania and SweetPea Showed Up

Nala Arrived

Duke, Henry and Delilah Came In

Pepe

Jazzy

Jake

All my friends were there and they all ran and played for a bit and then hung out.

Delilah

Delilah and Jake

Duke

Hanging with my Peeps

Delilah and Henry

Nala, Duke and Shania

Hanging Out

In the Shade

Ms. May and I had a Chat

Sonia Giving Pepe some Advice

Group Photo

AJ helped push me home

Wagon Train Ho!!

Dreaming

He was one tired pup when we got home and fell fast a sleep dreaming of his friends and how much fun he had. It was just like old times!

Days go by...

At the beginning of the week Mom gave me some new medicine called Piroxicam and it helped me be able to breathe a little better.
Monday morning I went for a walk and ran into some of the K's which was great.

Morning

Morning Hugs

Then Monday night I went for another walk with my friends....

Friends

then Megan and Cayden came over and we had lots of fun.

Buddies

Luv

ahhh that's the spot

Tuesday we went to therapy with Chris and Diana.

my heart goes thump, thump, thump

Chris puts the cold laser thing on my nerves that don't work right and Diana takes my pulse.





                                 

therapy is so hard

I also get kisses....







On the way out I stopped to smell a light pole... that's a really big deal since I haven't been able to smell real well for awhile. That means the new medicine is working.

SNIFF

I was looking for my Aunt Gina but she wasn't there so I took off to the truck

Aunt Gina I missed you

Tuesday night I walked almost a mile over to my friends house. He was hanging out with his buddies and they all fed me treats and walked around with me.

Kids... My favoritist things

Wheeling with my Buddies

AP pushed me home

Wednesday we went to treadmill and I was so excited.I took off across the parking lot to get to the door and along the way I stopped to smell a bush. AP was very happy about that.

I wheeled right in and even though I did not have a great treadmill day (my foot was kinda draggy) I had a good time.

Headed to the Treadmill

Sleeping while being blow dried - I love It

When we got home I had a bath and a nap. Once I was awake and dry we went for a long walk again to see my kids and this time Nala went with us.

Saying Hello to Ms. Christina

Rolling Along

Yum

           

Headed Home

We hung out for awhile and then headed home and I made it all the way by myself.

It was a great couple of days....

Sometimes news just sucks....

AP here:

First one of my favorite recent pictures of Tonka.

It is the classic Tonka look - eyes rolled up at me with that big nose in the air and his eyebrows raised. This is my son, my boy, my heart!

How can you not want to pat that head or kiss that nose? How can you not want to move heaven and earth to save him?

So this week he had an MRI and Tonka did really well. Dr. Klaser was prepared to do a rhinoscopy afterwards to biopsy whatever they found if it was accessible unfortunately that did not happen. What did happen is that an MRI that showed a very large, very nasty mass that has taken up his right nasal cavity and gone up and into the space above his palate. It is creeping into the left side and is pushing up through the bone out the top of his nose. That is the lump on the bridge of his nose. It also expends up and into the right eye orbit but at this time is not giving us any problems there. The only way to determine if it is cancerous is to biopsy it from outside - sort of a surgical punch if you will.  I will tell you that statistically the percentage of nasal tumors in dogs is extremely high (in the 80%) so in all likelihood that is what this is.

I needed to know what was going on- I do not necessarily need to know if it is cancer. The thing about nasal tumors in dogs is they SUCK. I have looked at the treatment options and they are all horrible without really great outcomes. Nothing would be a "cure" everything would just buy time (maybe). So we are going to go down the road (however short) it may be of palliative care. I am starting him on a powerful anti-inflammatory and a big dose of "do whatever makes him happy". The plan is to be pain free and happy until we cant be happy anymore. I have no timeline, not really any guesstimate of how much time there is left and if you read the research you will find anything from 3-7 months with just palliative care, no surgery, no radiation. I know everyone loves Tonka - its impossible not to and everyones first instinct is to "save" him- believe me it has always been mine. The reality is there is no "saving" this time. I am out of options - we can play the "what about" game endlessly but it is not going to change anything. I really don't have the energy or the emotional strength to run down the list with everyone so if I tell you we have no options please leave it at that.

I will never forgive myself for not pursuing an MRI in April when he first started having "allergy" symptoms I am not sure if anything could have been caught and dealt with at that time but I'll never know. I am sorry and that's all I can say about it - I will have to live with it for the rest of my days.


The MRI was read by Dr. Amy Tidwell DVM so there is no doubt as to the accuracy of the read as she is an expert in the field. The first sentence of the report starts with "There is a large destructive mall in the right nasal cavity and para-nasal sinuses with extension of mass..." That sentence will replay in my head forever.

I know Tonka is an anomaly and has beaten more than his fair share of odds but that's not going to happen this time. I suggest if you would like to say your goodbyes that you do it soon - but do not cry around him please. He and I do not need the added stress of dealing with negative emotions. I want this time to be happy for him, he has spent the past 5 years bringing happiness and smiles to people and so that is what needs to be returned to him. I have never known a happier, sweeter soul than my boy and I probably wont again....

Will we or Won't we?

AP here:
 I just spent the last hour getting Tonka's gear ready for a trip to CVRC tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the MRI at Veterinary Imaging of the Chesapeake and if all works out it could be followed by a scope with Dr. Klaser. Maybe to flush out what they find (foreign body) or biopsy what is there if it is a polyp or tumor. The bottom line is tomorrow should bring us some answers but.... it is Tonka. There have been so many times that we have done a diagnostic test only to have it be inconclusive or "normal".

Where we going tomorrow?

So will we or wont we get an answer tomorrow that is the question?

I'm hoping for foreign body something quick and easy to fix so cross your fingers for us.

I haven't told him yet that he has to wear his help em up harness - he is going to be pissed....

Out of the Frying Pan and into....

AP here:

Have you ever had fed a dog a bowl of kibble pieces at a time as it was too weak to get up and eat? Have you ever curled up behind a dog with your hand on it's heart all night long to make sure it kept beating? Have you ever softly stroked their head and ears and sang them to sleep?

Well I have and sometimes still do...
I know people don't always understand the bond that Tonka and I have but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I have spent the past 5 years teaching him about the world outside his sightless eyes and protecting him from harm.
We have had adventures across 1000's of miles and met many people and animals and he has spread happiness wherever we went. We have run and wrestled and laughed; and yes my Tonka can laugh.

There is an added bond of trust patience that is created between a blind / disabled dog and it's human. Tonka relies on me for everything now, before it was just to navigate new places but since he can no longer walk I am responsible for 100% of his daily care every minute of every day.
He is an extraordinary boy, a once in a lifetime occurrence and he is not a dog he is so much more. He is the most loving and gentle soul I have ever met. He is my friend, my boy, my son, my heart and there are days like today where I feel I have failed him greatly.

In April his nose was stuffy and we treated him for allergies. In May he was still stuffy and we had his cancer surgery, again still thinking allergies. Maybe if I hadn't been so floored with the cancer diagnosis I would have paid more attention to the nose. In June, still stuffy so the thought now became perhaps he has a polyp and yet still I did not push for a definitive answer. In July still stuffy and now a lump has appeared on the bridge of his nose, why did it take this lump for me to really pay attention and pursue a reason.  I cant answer that question and its killing me.

I can't breathe through my nose....

On Tuesday July 30th Dr. Klaser did a needle aspirate of the lump on the nose and on July 31st the cytology report came back. No abnormal cells were present which is an awesome thing but sometimes good news is not actually 100% good news. The sample contained mixed inflammation cells and some nasal epithelial cells which suggests communication between the lump and the nasal cavity. Essentially this shows that whatever is in the nose is working its way up and out. The thought of my beautiful boy in pain and discomfort with an open wound between his eyes is way too much to bear. The reality that I have let whatever is in his nasal cavity grow for going on 4 months without pressing for an MRI or scope breaks my heart. I am immensely thankful that it is not cancer but I am also not so naive to know that if this thing gets to his brain we are in big trouble. I once had a stress fracture in my foot and a cyst developed over top of that part of bone. I can only think that this cyst on his nose is in response to whatever is in the nose. So all though I am relieved that the lump on top is not cancer I am worried about what lurks below. I did get a pretty good picture of inside his mouth and his palate and there are no signs of anything coming down so that is a little reassuring.

Tonka's Hippo impression

The current plan is to MRI his head and possibly follow that up immediately with a rhinoscopy to get a biopsy of whatever they find. If it is up too far in the sinus cavity where a rhinoscopy would not be effective then an option could be a small surgical procedure like a punch to get a sample. Everything hinges upon the MRI findings and what the Dr.'s are comfortable with that day especially the length of time needed with him under anesthesia. I have looked ahead at possible outcomes and we have discussed possible treatment plans. Between now and the MRI I will be researching what those treatments and drugs could entail.