Call in the Forensic Team

AP here:
It is like a scene out of the TV show Dexter at my house this morning.

---In the living room we have a 4ft blood splatter in all directions.
The heaviest concentration is here in the middle with a lighter radiating pattern suggesting that this is where the initial event occurred and then the victim took a few steps.
It  changes into smaller droplets towards the furniture, walls and stairs indicating that several smaller events happened after the initial one. ---

 I don't need the forensic skills of Dexter to know the cause. The bear that is the Tonka has nosebleeds again and has sneezed his gigantic nose sneezes in the living room. He has just come in from his morning shuffle (walk) and instead of sneezing outside where it is easy to clean up he has made his way into the living room so it can splatter as many surfaces as possible. Exactly what I need on a Monday morning while trying to get ready for work.
I take him through the kitchen to get him out the door when he sneezes again this time all over me - Excellent!!  - very thankful I still have on my sweats and a t-shirt and am not dressed for work.I grab a paper-towel and wet it with cold water to clean him up and see if we need to ice pack his snout or go get the epinephrine solution. Luckily there is no more blood flowing and I have him lie down so I can clean up his muzzle and his legs where he has sneezed downward all over his feet. I then grab the paper-towels and a bucket of cold water to clean up everywhere else.
Clean up time is shortened by the fact that I am still putting thin fleece blankets down in the areas that he mostly occupies. I got into the habit when he was having incontinence issues and have just kept doing it. The fleece has taken the brunt of the initial sneeze and so I start working outward from the edges. Soon I am at the wall and proceed to clean that off. In the the other direction is the bloody couch, the coat rack, the umbrella stand, the baby gate, the leather recliner - wait the leather recliner which would be the easiest to clean is spotless - figures...

I pull up the fleece and check on him before heading to the laundry room. He is busy cleaning his paws - apparently I did not get them Tonka clean. I grab the phone on the way to call the Doctor and have them update his file and refill his epinephrine solution (our bottle from last year is almost empty). I put together a load of laundry that now includes the fleece, my bloody T-shirt, sweat pants and even my socks. I don't need to watch TV my life with Tonka is way more entertaining than any TV show.