AP here:
Have you ever had fed a dog a bowl of kibble pieces at a time as it was too weak to get up and eat? Have you ever curled up behind a dog with your hand on it's heart all night long to make sure it kept beating? Have you ever softly stroked their head and ears and sang them to sleep?
Well I have and sometimes still do...
I know people don't always understand the bond that Tonka and I have but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I have spent the past 5 years teaching him about the world outside his sightless eyes and protecting him from harm.
We have had adventures across 1000's of miles and met many people and animals and he has spread happiness wherever we went. We have run and wrestled and laughed; and yes my Tonka can laugh.
There is an added bond of trust patience that is created between a blind / disabled dog and it's human. Tonka relies on me for everything now, before it was just to navigate new places but since he can no longer walk I am responsible for 100% of his daily care every minute of every day.
He is an extraordinary boy, a once in a lifetime occurrence and he is not a dog he is so much more. He is the most loving and gentle soul I have ever met. He is my friend, my boy, my son, my heart and there are days like today where I feel I have failed him greatly.
In April his nose was stuffy and we treated him for allergies. In May he was still stuffy and we had his cancer surgery, again still thinking allergies. Maybe if I hadn't been so floored with the cancer diagnosis I would have paid more attention to the nose. In June, still stuffy so the thought now became perhaps he has a polyp and yet still I did not push for a definitive answer. In July still stuffy and now a lump has appeared on the bridge of his nose, why did it take this lump for me to really pay attention and pursue a reason. I cant answer that question and its killing me.
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| I can't breathe through my nose.... |
On Tuesday July 30th Dr. Klaser did a needle aspirate of the lump on the nose and on July 31st the cytology report came back. No abnormal cells were present which is an awesome thing but sometimes good news is not actually 100% good news. The sample contained mixed inflammation cells and some nasal epithelial cells which suggests communication between the lump and the nasal cavity. Essentially this shows that whatever is in the nose is working its way up and out. The thought of my beautiful boy in pain and discomfort with an open wound between his eyes is way too much to bear. The reality that I have let whatever is in his nasal cavity grow for going on 4 months without pressing for an MRI or scope breaks my heart. I am immensely thankful that it is not cancer but I am also not so naive to know that if this thing gets to his brain we are in big trouble. I once had a stress fracture in my foot and a cyst developed over top of that part of bone. I can only think that this cyst on his nose is in response to whatever is in the nose. So all though I am relieved that the lump on top is not cancer I am worried about what lurks below. I did get a pretty good picture of inside his mouth and his palate and there are no signs of anything coming down so that is a little reassuring.
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| Tonka's Hippo impression |
The current plan is to MRI his head and possibly follow that up immediately with a rhinoscopy to get a biopsy of whatever they find. If it is up too far in the sinus cavity where a rhinoscopy would not be effective then an option could be a small surgical procedure like a punch to get a sample. Everything hinges upon the MRI findings and what the Dr.'s are comfortable with that day especially the length of time needed with him under anesthesia. I have looked ahead at possible outcomes and we have discussed possible treatment plans. Between now and the MRI I will be researching what those treatments and drugs could entail.
